Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Barack Obama: Product of a Homosexed Household

I really had no idea. Truly shocking!

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Pay me absolutely no attention - it only encourages me.

Its interesting how a night of no sleep makes you feel. I thought I'd be exhausted by now. To the contrary, I feel wide awake - jittery even. Actually, very jittery. Maybe its the sub-par McDonald's coffee. It went so well with that Chick-Fil-A fried chicken biscuit ripoff they have, though. Who knew McDonald's could do southern food so well? But anyway, I don't think I've had a completely sleepless night since college. Kinda having flashbacks to those all-nighter projects, which would explain why I felt compelled a couple of hours ago to right a criticism on Sense and Sensibility. It's going to be interesting to see how ballet class goes this morning. I'm betting that in about 2 1/2 hours, when we get to the petite allegro, my feet will fly out from under me and I'll land flat on my back, or perhaps on top of my head depending on my level of enthusiasm during the combo. I should get one of the front desk folk to wait by the door with a camera for just such a moment.

To fill up the tedious minutes that come with being awake for hours while the rest of the world is asleep, I also revisited this cute little teen flick that I secretly (ok, not so secretly) adore - Camp. I'm sure that any red blooded American homo reading this blog has seen it. If not, then settle down for a night, put your hair in curlers, bake some brownies and give it a go. There's a couple of truly hilarious scenes, including the one posted below. The rest of it is just cute and angsty. It's what I needed to watch on a night like last night (or morning like this morning, actually). I'm felling a little angsty myself these days, largely in part to my ex's new boyfriend, Douche. I'm told that Douche is a really great guy, though.

Now, for your viewing pleasure:

Saturday, June 28, 2008

If you really love something...

Just saw this video on Towleroad and had to share. It's so corny, but then, so am I.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Working Title

Thought of the title Shock Value last night and decided to go with it today. It may not (in fact probably won't) stick, but for the time being it seems appropriate.

The Price of Pleasure

Due to a tax hike, a pack of smokes in NYC is now $8.50. Well, in my neighborhood they're $8.50, but I hear that they're $9 in the East Village. This fucking sucks! My addiction is going to put me in the poorhouse. I won't be able to make rent, I'll get kicked out of my apartment, have to go live in a shelter or pretend that I'm 17 and try to get into one of those wayward LGBT youth houses. I'll end up eating white rice for dinner and giving hang jobs on the Lower East Side for 5 bucks a pop (pun intended). Anything but give up my beloved cigarettes. I know they're very bad for me, but cigarettes and I have been through a lot together.

Yeah ok, so maybe the city needed more tax money to, I don't know, plant rose bushes on upper Park Avenue or bring an art installation to the South St Seaport called Cat Anuses: the Exhibit. And so, to minimize mass backlash, they choose to tax a group that is hard for most people to sympathize with - smokers. My group gets the fucking shaft because others think that our cigarette smoke is obnoxious and detrimental to their health (as if living in New York City hasn't already rotted all of our lungs past the point of no return).

But you know what I find obnoxious? Babies. Babies are loud. Babies are messy. Their strollers take up half the fucking sidewalk when I'm in a hurry to get to the train. And there's all these things you're not supposed to say around them, like, "Hey last night I got double penetrated and holy fuck did it spread me open like a Thanksgiving turkey!" As if they even understand what a Thanksgiving turkey is! So why don't we raise the tax on, oh, strollers?? Or disposable diapers, which not only make it easier to take care of babies, thereby encouraging people to have more of them, but they're also bad for the environment. Or why not just put an extra tax on a woman upon conception? NYC is no place for kids anyway. It's how Jesus would want it. You never heard of Jesus having a kid, did you? But, damn, did he love his smokes.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

The Place I'm At

A former mentor once told me that one of his greatest wishes for his students is choice. At the time I had no idea what he meant and thought that he must just be talking out of his ass. Now I know - the man was a sadist. Choice, as it turns out, is both a blessing and a curse. At certain points in life, Choice is just a cold-hearted bitch.

My friend Donny tells me that I'm experiencing my Saturn return. What the fuck is this? you might ask. First of all, let me say that I don't completely buy into astrology. I know many people who do and who aren't total kooks, but I myself am not one to buy into any popular school of philosophy wholeheartedly. It's the cynic in me. Technically, I'm an agnostic, although I hate telling people that because it sounds like such a liberal cliche. So when asked about my spiritual views, I often say that I'm an atheist, followed by "And no I don't want your Christing brochure, now fuck off!" But in reality, I'm pretty open to the thought that there's something larger at work, just nothing that popular theology addresses, ergo the agnostic label.

Having given this disclaimer (and hopefully convinced you that I'm not a dippy new-ager, sitting here playing Dungeons and Dragons at this very minute), I'll explain this Saturn return business. According to astrologers, Saturn's placement at the time of your birth predestines your fears, limitations, ambitions and senses of discipline and responsibility. Every 29.5 years Saturn completes its revolution around the Sun, and according to astrologers this means that around your 29th year of life Saturn has run its course through your chart and returns to the point it occupied at the time of your birth. This supposedly shakes all your shit up and makes you question the path you're on, the choices you've made, the person you've become and hope to be. You reassess and gain new perspectives. It is considered a rebirth, the true transition into adulthood. And it is said to be fucking painful.

Again, I am the constant skeptic. So while the Saturn return theory definitely strikes a cord, I'm also prone to believe that life is just plain fucked right now by pure chance. Or more accurately, by my own complacence and tendency to take things for granted. Let me provide some backstory:

In January, I ended a 4 1/2 year relationship. Aaron and I met in the summer of 2003 and almost instantly became each others confidants, companions, lovers and partners. It was the longest relationship I had ever had, and the most committed I had ever been. Our friends and acquaintances often described us as the poster couple, their models for a successful adult relationship. We moved to the city together, we bought a dog together, we backpacked through Europe together. We leaned on and confided in each other. We were a team. I trusted him more than I've ever trusted anyone. He knew me as much as I knew myself.
I'll save you most of the gory details and heartbreak. Put simply, things turned ugly. We had rushed into such a serious relationship without realizing that we were very different people who wanted very different things in life, and so it ended. I moved out. I lost him, I lost the dog, I lost the apartment and the person that had been home. At around the same time, I also got a new job and, obviously, a new apartment. So yeah, basically my life was totally rearranged, and almost half a year later I'm still reeling from it.

So that's my inciting incident, the cause of my present feelings of instability. I still wonder if I did the right thing by ending it. Aaron's a wonderful guy. He's handsome. He's genuine. He's incredibly kind and warm. He treated me like I was a prince. I'm well aware that I'll possibly never find someone else as good as him, which is a scary thought. And then there's the little fact that I still love him and probably always will. I think of him often and agonize myself wondering if he thinks of me just as much. At times I feel a burning hatred towards him for no apparent reason, but I am simultaneously desperate for him. This is a brand new kind of hurt and I still haven't figured out how to fix it. Part of me says to move on, that break ups happen and eventually you make a new and hopefully better life for yourself. But another part says not to put him out of my mind, we're actually just taking some time apart so don't wander too far away - this time has only made you realize what you really mean to each other - you're going to get back together and this time you won't take each other for granted. How do I know which side is right?

To compound the situation, I'm now faced with multiple paths to choose from in the most quotidian of decisions. For instance, I get home from work or class and there's no one to wait for or waiting for me. I'm suddenly faced with choice - How do I do dinner for 1? Or should I go out to eat? And if so, who should I call to go with me? Should we make a night of it? But wait, I don't have that many options for dinner companions anyway because for so long I put all my energy into 1 person and didn't really explore outside relationships very much. I'm Fucked!

At times, the place I'm at does feel exciting and fresh, but at other times it feels like I've wavered a bit too much on a high wire, my stomach lurches and I know I'm about to get a face full of floor. So is Saturn the guy taking the trusty umbrella out of my hand? Could be. At the very least, it's reassuring that someone has come up with an explanation for all the upheaval. Still, if anyone knows of a quick way out of this or the best path to choose, I'm open to suggestions.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

So You Think You Can Dance, Season 4, Pt 1

My favorite time of year has officially begun. The flowers are in full bloom, the days are long and bright, Central Park is filled with picnickers, and my all time favorite tv show and slightly inappropriate pop culture obsession is back - So You Think You Can Dance aka The Search For America's Gayest Hairstyles. For those somehow unfamiliar with the show, think American Idol for dancers. But way more fun. Seriously, if you've never seen it, take a look!

So here's my thoughts on the first show of the new season. First of all, its good to see that someone has once again reanimated the corpse of Nigel Lythgoe and smeared some pancake and blush on it. He doesn't look eerily inhuman at all. Also, thank you to the p.a. who found just the right balance of booze and uppers for Mary Murphy - she was as loud and inarticulate as I'd hoped for. Those two are really such a dream team, huh? But all sarcasm aside, I'm glad that the usual roster of awesome choreographers is back this season. No, not you Dan Karaty. The show really does get some of the best people currently working in the dance industry to put their movement on the SYTYCD kids, including some folk that I usually find totally engaging: Mandy Moore, Wade Robson, Tyce Diorio and Doriana Sanchez. For those of you familiar with her work, yes, I do indeed enjoy Doriana Sanchez's disco stylings. Her choreography is actually quite fun when its done confidently (see last season's disco number with Neil and Sara). Mia Michaels, probably the most widely known contemporary choreographer, is also back. Now, I have mixed feelings on this bitch. She often does very moving work (see last season's piece to Elisa's song Dancing), but then she has this tendency to get pompous and pull some shitty, self indulgent garbage out of her ass that ends up being more like a badly acted soap opera than an actual dance piece (see last season's piece about her relationship with her father - yeah i went there). I'm also pretty into this husband-wife hip-hop team I had never heard of: Tabitha and Napoleon.

So yeah, I'm hoping that his year's choreography will impress. My biggest criticism of Wednesday night's episode, though, and really of the show in general is that its fallen into this trap of 'impress the audience by any means necessary.' And I'm not talking about cute boy Jaimie's pants being pulled down in the middle of a hip-hop piece to reveal his american appareled swimsuit area - that was just plain fun AND hot! I'm talking about THE DANCER'S BAG OF TRICKS. The multiple fuete turns, the gymnastics, the split leaps a la seconde. Yes, these things are difficult to do and can be very impressive and beautiful. But c'mon! When done back to back to back, they're nothing more than a gimmick, and the audience is being misinformed as to what real dancing is. Which is totally not to say that the people competing on the show aren't real dancers. Quite to the contrary - they are all both artists and athletes with beautiful and unique qualities of movement. But they're well aware of the nature of the show. They are surely pressured to do these trick movements in their solos in order to 'stand out.' Even with this being said, I remain optimistic. The dancers know they have the opportunity to blend artistry with entertainment value, and hopefully they'll be pushed in this direction by some of the choreographers (c'mon Mandy Moore, I'm counting on you!). And hopefully the producers will realize that a backflip is much more impressive when it follows more sustained movements, that there is an organic and logical place for it in a piece when there is a well thought out concept behind it (see Natalie's solos from season 2).

But enough rant. Now for the fun part - the individual dancers and pieces. For brevity's sake I won't go into all of them, but I do want to say that I'm blown away by the number of cute gay boys this season. Being the responsible member of the gay community that I am, I won't name names, but if you watch then I'm sure you'll be able to tell for yourself! My standout faves are as follows: for the boys, Mark, whose quirkiness I'm totally loving, and Thayne. For the girls, well, I think I forgot to watch for any of the girls. I do remember liking little Katee, who at first I thought would be supremely annoying, but DAMN - bitch can move! The hip-hop piece she was in was actually the best of the night, even though I'm usually not a big fan of the hip-hop. Mia's was also pretty damn cool. All of the other pieces were just Not bad, but not great. Poor Doriana's 'ography was danced pretty poorly. Maybe one day she'll get tired of her style's bad rap and she'll break a beer bottle over Mia's head. God I hope that happens this season! Stay tuned.